As I sit down today to chat with all of you I am feeling a bit under the weather and completely uninspired. I know we all have those days where we have things that need to be accomplished and no get up and go to get it done.
I decided to sit down with my Soul Truth Self-Awareness Card Deck and ask spirit for inspiration on what I can share that will be helpful for anyone who reads the newsletter.
I guess I should start with last weekend. It was Saturday morning and I was so excited at the prospect of sleeping in. I have been so tired with the time change and work. At 6:20 A.M., I am woken from a dream and was of course, wide awake. I hear spirit say “get up” and was like, geez guys, really?! I get up and make the dogs their breakfast and coffee for myself and sit down on the sofa for my quiet morning ritual of silence and peace before the rest of the household awakes. Spirit speaks, “It is time for you to do Mediumship full-time.” No more excuses, it is time to do one of the things that I feel I am here to do. Healing has always been a part of my life whether with animals, energy work, massage, or helping people heal through Mediumship. I have always felt the greatest resistance to Mediumship as well. What if people think I’m crazy? What if I don’t get any messages? What if it can’t be validated? So much doubt and imposter syndrome insecurities scream at me. But, I am excited by the prospect that spirit is saying that it is time. No more sitting on the fence, no more doubting what spirit brings through, only doing now. I had a reading this week and brought through good and relevant information but some things that came through could not be validated. What comes back in? Self-doubt and imposter syndrome on steroids. As those of you who work with spirit to receive messages know, sometimes things are super clear, sometimes the connection feels fractured and distant. There are no sureties in the connection. Sometimes it depends on where you are energetically, sometimes the person being read, and sometimes it is in the hands of your own guides and the people in spirit that are coming through. Being the person that I am, I like to know exactly what is going to happen before it happens…lol…There is definitely a need to try to have some semblance of control in my life. As we all know, control is just an illusion but for some reason I still want to hold onto that “control.” I know a big lesson is learning to trust, trust spirit, trust myself, trust the process. Life/spirit has given me lots of unknowns for the last couple of years. Is spirit shoving me onto my path because I have been so hesitant to get going? Back to the Soul Truth card that I pulled for my inspiration. The podcast crew recorded an episode at my house last night. As you know, we turn every recording into snacks and fun. We were sitting around the table pulling cards for each other and someone pulled a card that said “What am I waiting for? Someone else to do it for me?” lol….rude….I pull out this same deck today to pull a card and which one do you think I pulled? Yes, you know, spirit is like Brenda Sue, are you listening?! When are you going to get to work? On the back of the card it says “Do it scared, take the leap.”
So ya’ll, what is the thing that you are wanting to do but scared to do? Why are you scared? What is holding you back? Is it like me, you are afraid of falling on your face? Looking crazy or like an imposter? Where does that come from? I am so tired of holding myself back, because I am afraid. It is time to take my own personal leap and get to work. I love helping people heal through Mediumship, it fills my heart, so why would I hold myself back? I guess this is a kind of declaration, holding myself accountable for my own bullshit. Be brave today and don’t hold yourself back from pursing your dreams.
Love to you all!
Brenda Sue Jean Louise Jolene III