Y’all, this eclipse season has been crazy! Hey its Aaron and I hope you all are doing well, taking care of you and yours, and doing some serious grounding before the holiday season gears up.
I have been experiencing mirrors in the world that have been awful. Like, people have been rude, disrespectful, and downright hateful and vindictive to me. I know, what is wrong with them? It’s ME for crying out loud! I digress..
After dealing with the discomfort of what they are doing/saying to me, I let the anger or frustration pass through my body, and I start to reflect on what the universe might be using that person for in order to SHOW me about myself, my shadows, and the shit I’m working through. And y’all, work is the right word. It is difficult and unpaid… I’m tired and need a raise, damnit!
Two instances recently triggered these aversions to conflict for me. One of them was a student and one was an “adult.” For so much of my life, I have not stood up for myself because (subconsciously) I did not want to be disliked. I did not want to be rude or give people a reason to not think highly of me, etc. So, often, those closest to me served in that role. However, with these two recent instances, I did take up for myself and respond in non-hateful but firm ways. I’m learning to set all kinds of boundaries: personal, professional, emotional, physical, spiritual, etc. and again, it is not work for the weary or weak. If you’re here, if you’re reading this – YOU are strong because you are the kind of person doing similar work. You’re aiding in the awakening of the universe.
It is time for me to stop playing small. It is time for me to recognize my worth and step fully into My Power. There is no going back, and I’m so happy about that. As I walk forward into this next chapter, I feel the crown on top of my head and I know I have the best possible soul tribe around me to help support my growth and I theirs.
In the incident with the student, I went home and made a decision to apply to something (maybe more details to come later) that can shift the trajectory of my career. I, at first, wanted that student to face a consequence for their behavior and words used against me. However, I reflected and thanked the student (in my mind at least, lol) for showing me that it was time for me to shift into productivity instead of reactivity – I know what I want and that student helped me to reach out and grab it.
In the incident with the “adult”, at first, I didn’t want to be involved with the low vibrational frequency they were presenting me with – very terse, antagonistic, and threatening – but then I realized exactly WHY that was the case. I don’t like conflict and have always had someone else step in and take up for me. While that is amazing and sometimes still necessary, in this specific context, it was time for me to step up to the plate and swing – to experiment with saying what I need to say to get my point across without sugar coating it, without being concerned what the impact would be afterwards, without backing down. I’ve got my crown and my cape and I am now understanding my super powers.
I encourage you to reflect upon what you want, what you’re working through and integrating, and taking a moment to step back from the emotions of a moment/interaction and observe it objectively. What comes up? What does it feel like in your body? What message is the universe trying to have you acknowledge? Step further into that, into the healing. It is so hard. It is so uncomfortable, but it is also so healing, so freeing.
I will leave you with the lyrics to a song I’ve been enjoying by the band boygenius titled “Powers”:
“How did it start?
Did I fall into a nuclear reactor?
Crawl out with acid skin or something worse?
A hostile alien ambassador?
Or am I simply another of the universe’s failed experiments?
Either way, I have been wondering
Just how it is
I have never heard
The tale of how I got
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